My sister was mad at him too, in part for abandoning our mother, but also because she feels that in her growing-up disasters, he was always more interested in how much it hurt him than he was in supporting her. [A person who has decided to die is already beyond our reach. When that person is a husband or a father, it makes for something worse than grief, it's insulting: our professions of love are thrown back in our face; it destroys our sense of ourselves as competent human beings, who not only want to care for one another, we can. My mother and my sister obviously didn't matter enough to make Dad want to stay; is there any way he could have hurt them more deeply? No wonder they're mad. ]
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